He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
