I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
