if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
