I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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