trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
