worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
