Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
My ass is underappreciated
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
