just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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