My hair reeks of homosexuality.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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