the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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