I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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