Having a random hookup so left but love u
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
