ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
