Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
