i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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