That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize