This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
