I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
