I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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