And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
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