i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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