Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
