how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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