I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
