Fine. I'll sleep in my office
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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