so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
