Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Nicole vs. Life
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
