p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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