is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
