Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
