I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
