I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
