my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
