Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
