I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
