Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
