In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
