I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
