dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
