you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
