dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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