I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
