YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
