Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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