I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
