Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
