I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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