I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
