He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
