Pregnant stripper...not hot.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
