I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My ass is underappreciated
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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