why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
