i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
