oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
